Whoever you are '“ please clean up your dog's mess

So, you're still doing it then? Or more to the point, your dog's still doing it '“ outside my house. Not every day, granted. But often enough to keep the piles of dog mess regularly replenished.

Thursday, 22nd December 2016, 9:30 am
Updated Thursday, 29th December 2016, 3:12 pm

So come on, I’m interested, what goes through your mind as you walk away, leaving your dog’s faeces for someone else to clear up?

It’s me and my neighbours who are those someone elses. But I expect you already knew that, just as you know very well that what you have been doing for sometime now (or rather failed to do) is wrong, plain and simple.

Yes, I know it’s early in the morning and it’s almost certainly not just you, but does that make it okay? It’s still dark – so what? How does that absolve you of your responsibility? I guess we both know it doesn’t, it merely reduces your chances of getting caught.

You’re right about that at least: I still don’t know who you are – sorry they are (I was forgetting it wasn’t just you).

Have you ever thought what we might say to each other, should I ever catch you? How embarrassing it would be?

But then, what could I say to you that you don’t already know? It’s dirty? It’s Illegal? It spreads disease? There’s a £1,000 fine? (Whether it’s less if the offense took place during the hours of darkness I don’t know.)

Look, come on, man – we both live in this town. Littlehampton’s great, isn’t it? A nice small town where people seem familiar to one another.

It wouldn’t surprise me at all if we had passed each other on a quiet street and bid each other a friendly good morning. So how about it? I’ll clear up this latest lot and then you clean up after that. Fair?

T Bateup

Empress Close


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