I AM going to level with you; I’m rubbish at asking for help – at home, at work, even with my mates.
I somehow feel like I should be able to manage by myself and that if I can’t, I’ve let myself and everyone around me down.
So, there are days when I think I’ve failed; days when I feel like my head is going to burst with the pressure.
Then I add to that pressure by beating myself up for not being able to cope, for not being superwoman on speed.
But recently I’ve had what I hesitatingly call a ‘revelation’.
Jesus’ cross was too heavy for him; he couldn’t carry it.
The product of all he went through – the whipping, the beating, the sheer weight of the wood – was too much.
He stumbled. He fell. He couldn’t get up again.
Jesus, my Jesus, saviour of the world, son of the living God, couldn’t carry his own cross.
He couldn’t get it up the hill to die to save the world.
The thing that he was born to do, the whole reason for his existence, was too much for him.
Even he needed someone else to help him carry the burden of this timber to fulfil his mission. I’m still reeling from the realisation.
I’ve spent the best part of my life trying to be like Jesus, but I never once stopped to see that meant I was allowed to feel the pressure of the journey.
To sometimes feel overwhelmed by it, to have days when it all feels too much.
We can try so hard to do so much; we live in a world that tells us we can do everything.
We can’t. Not to the impossibly high standards we set ourselves and not on our own.
God created us to live in community, to work as team.
He created Eve because man couldn’t do it alone.
From the beginning we were meant to help each other – and be helped.
If Jesus could let Simon carry the most important piece of wood in the history of the world, then surely, sometimes, we can let other people carry some of our stuff, too.
I think I’ll start by letting the kids do the washing up.
After all, it’s what Jesus would do.
Bekah Legg is the editor of Liberti Magazine, a quarterly religious magazine published for women. It is produced in Littlehampton.